It is sooo weird....still can't imagine I have Makayla inside of me..

Everytime i look at the ultrasound pics..its hard to imagine I have a HUMAN BEING inside of me...omg...yea i know..she moves inside..but...to know how she looks....with MY LIPS....amazing....

lets see the difference between Makayla at 21 weeks and 26 weeks.

MAKAYLA AT 21 WEEKS

SHE HAS MY MOUTH!!!! And she has fats...look at her cheeks..LOL..

omg...I AM DYING OF THE HEAT!!!

Okay..so went for check up today. My placenta is STILL low lying....PRAY FOR ME DUDES AND DUDETTES. hopefully it shifts up so i wun need a c sec....baby is packing up on fats! she has cheecks now..and MY MOUTH..and i am serious..MY MOUTH. ^^..will upload the picture soon. too tired to do anything....too hot....i just wanna go to sleep...zzzzzzzzz. NIghts people!

So, i cried myself to sleep....

Have you guys ever tried crying till there's no more tears left and you fall asleep with the pillow case wet? I had, MANY times...and last night was the worst...Pull thru...i MUST pull thru...i have sleeping spells again...its either the pregnancy...OR, my depression is back..where i sleep for 20 hours a day and not eat...urgh..pray that i will not be it

Baby its just you and me now....

Makayla, we're officially HOMELESS. No more hope of going home with grandpa and grandma. We're officially disowned. No more hope of going back to the family. Its just you and me. I will get a full time job. Send in income statement, take my piano diploma all by this year and myself and you. Save up enough money and MOVE OUT OF THIS GODDAM PLACE. Since i so unwelcomed in this family, I will save as much money in the least time and We're on our own. NO more DEPENDING on the family. You dun have a dad. YOU HAVE A MUM. as of me? I HAVE You AND NOTHING ELSE. Just God and You. I dunno whether it will be enough for me to survive, but I PRAY IT WILL BE. Too hurt to do anything else...have been having insomnia due to not being accepted back to the family. I guess...its done. I'm not gonna be accepted. Just have to depend on my own now. Ask me to be positive.....I am positive....i think....i shall see how i survive without my family. Its either I press on and get depression and what nots or i kill myself and baby tgt. I guess i will try the 1st one 1st. and see how long i can last. the moment i cant will be the moment i ask God to take my life away.

DO YOU KNOW?

Mothers are WEI DA....BUT,single mothers are the MOST WEI DA one. Look at what we have to go through

TOP ON THE LIST AT NUMBER 1:

We get rejected by our own parents cause they feel shameful, but we can't blame them cause its hard to accept. And we can only WAIT till they accept. But, 1 thing they should know, WE NEED THE SUPPORT, SO DUN MAKE US WAIT TOO LONG.

NEXT UP ON NUMBER 2:

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

For kids in Singapore, THERE IS NO EDUSAVE FOR KIDS WHO ARE SINGLE PARENTHOOD. WHY? cause our kids are illegitimate and not approved. We have to ADOPT our own child and make it OFFICIAL. And that is A FEW THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. 

Single mums can't get their own house till they are 35 AT LEAST and NO 5 ROOM FLAT, be it whether u CAN or CANNOT afford. 

NUMBER 3:

RELATIVES CALLING US SLUTS, and worse...BLAMING OUR OWN PARENTS FOR WHAT WE DID. TO THOSE RELATIVES..what i can say is...SHUT THE HELL UP AND DON"T BLAME OUR PARENTS CAUSE IT IS US WHO GOT PREGNANT. 

Number 4:

We have to do everything ourselves...that includes going to check ups and if u are lucky u get a loving GOD MUM like ME. Or your friend can follow. We have to talk to our babies telling them that no matter what happens, we love them the most. 

Number 5: 

Because of all of the above, we are more prone to stress and will most probably fall into the 'prenatal depression/ postnatal depression. UNLESS, we know how to cope with it. 

Number 6: 

Because of all of the above AGAIN, We tend to cry almost EVERY night b4 sleeping or when we're alone. Doubting whether we can pull through the ordeal or not. And this causes:

INSOMNIA

DEPRESSION

LOST OF APPETITE>>>>>>>baby will not grow up healthily.

Last but not least, WHILE WE YOUNG SINGLE MUMMIES ARE EXPERIENCING THAT, OUR PARENTS ARE JUST THINKING AND WORRYING ABOUT:

1) THEIR FACE AND REPUTATION

2) WHETHER WE CAN BRING UP THE CHILD BY OURSELVES

3) TOO SAD TO DO ANYTHING...

4) REFUSE TO FACE THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE A GRANDCHILD INCOMING

THEY REFUSE TO ACCPET US CAUSE OF THAT NOT KNOWING WE"RE GOING THOUGHT MUCH MORE THAN WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH.

BUT, IT WILL CHANGE>>>WHEN THEY SEE THE BABY. You can hate us all you want. BUT, the baby will always be the one that bring the family back together. 

MINI HAUL!

Not all cute and nice baby clothes come from expensive places..i got 2 cute jumpsuits for a bargain...just a mere 8 bucks per piece..very good quality. cheap doesn't mean CHEAP. and expensive doesn't mean real quality..some are just so over rated. so this was wad i bot..

CUTE RIGHT

Decided on something!

I'm gonna start writting a book. yea...I AM SERIOUS. Book name would be, The Single Mummy Support from God.